Friday 12 November 2010

Show - Not Tell

At present in writing  we are learning to show and not tell.  Telling is when you give the reader the information and showing is when the reader has to draw their own conclusion. 

What do you think of our efforts?

Tell:  The morning was beautiful
Show:  The sun was reaching out to grab the bright blue sky.  It rose above the needle tips of the pointed white glistening mountains.  A white candy floss maker was pushing out puffy sugar clouds.  The warm breeze swept against my hot sweaty face.  Sopping wet grass swallowed my feet.  Whisper, whisper went the trees, they filled my head with sweet dreams and wishes.  The next door neighbour looked at me with a puzzled glare.
By Hannah

Tell: The hot drink was delicious
Show: As I gripped the burning cup in my icy hands a wafting smell of caramel  drifts me to sleep, like being pulled into another world..  A savoury smell drifts in the air.  I take a sip and a tingling sensation overcomes my body.
By Avi

As I squeeze my cup, the lovely smell enchants me as the white half arch soaks into the black ocean.  My cold lips beg me to drink the warm dark liquid.  I sit there still, hypnotised by the chocolate smell and the warm liquid oozing down my throat.  As my frostbitten fingers clench the scorching cup I begin to feel alive.
By Ben B

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